Nurturing Lasting Bonds: Top Tips For A Flourishing MarriageDec 02, 2023
Embarking on the journey of marriage is a profound and sacred commitment in Islam. Rooted in the divine teachings of Allah, marriage is a pathway to fulfilling half of one's faith and navigating life's intricate tapestry hand in hand with a life partner. As couples navigate the complexities of married life, it becomes imperative to lay a foundation built on understanding, communication, and shared values.
In this blog post, we delve into essential tips to help couples not only sustain their marital bonds but also flourish in the sacred union of marriage. From comprehending the profound purpose of marriage to practical advice on compatibility, communication, and raising children with Islamic values, these insights aim to guide couples towards a strong and purposeful marital journey.
Understand the Purpose of Marriage:
- Quranic Insight: "And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts." (Quran 30:21)
Delve into the profound purpose of marriage by seeking Allah's pleasure, preserving chastity, and embracing companionship and support. Sometimes couple's get so caught up in the whole marriage ceremony itself; how they day will go, the clothes, the food, the venue etc without pausing to remind themselves about the whole purpose of marriage.
Marriage as a Garment:
- Quranic Insight: "They are clothing for you, and you are clothing for them." (Quran 2:187)
Explore the analogy of marriage as a garment, emphasising the importance of providing physical and emotional support to your spouse. The Quran, in Surah Al-Baqarah (2:187), describes spouses as clothing for each other, emphasising their role in providing comfort, protection, and adornment. Much like a garment shields the body, marriage shields the individuals within it, offering a sanctuary of emotional and physical support. This analogy extends beyond mere symbolism; it underscores the intertwined nature of the relationship, where spouses become each other's confidants, companions, and protectors. The garment of marriage, like a well-woven fabric, intertwines the threads of love, mercy, and understanding, creating a harmonious and inseparable bond. Just as clothing is an essential aspect of one's identity, marriage becomes an integral part of a believer's spiritual and worldly journey, offering warmth, protection, and adornment to the souls intertwined in the sacred covenant.
Procreation and Spiritual Growth:
- Quranic Insight: "And Allah has made for you from your homes a place of rest..." (Quran 16:80)
Recognise the noble purposes of marriage, including procreation and raising children within a halal structure, fostering spiritual growth. In Islam, one significant reason for getting married is the concept of procreation, a sacred responsibility and a blessing. The Quran encourages believers to marry and build families, emphasizing the importance of continuity in generations. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has highlighted the virtue of marriage as a means to increase the Ummah, the community of believers. Through the union of a husband and wife, Islam envisions the creation of a stable and nurturing environment for children to be brought into the world. This act of procreation is seen as a way to fulfill the purpose of life and contribute positively to society, fostering a sense of responsibility and care within the family unit. In Islam, marriage is not only a companionship between spouses but also a divine institution designed to fulfill a fundamental role in the continuation of human life and the cultivation of values through the generations.
Blessings and Barakah:
- Quranic Insight: "Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (Quran 25:74)
Embrace marriage as a source of blessings and barakah, bringing peace, happiness, and contentment within the marital home. Think of marriage as providing a comfort for both spouses within each other and within the shared home.
- Quranic Insight: "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy." (Quran 30:21)
Prioritise compatibility by sharing common values, goals, and outlook on life. Sometimes when couples get married it is clear they are not compatible with each other, especially on an intellectual/emotional level. This could cause problems later on when you want to develop and grow as a person your partner may not share the same vision as you. You may want to have deep discussions about issues important to you but again if you are not compatible you may not be emotionally fulfilling each others needs. When there is an absence of emotional fulfilment, this could lead to bigger problems later on. You will need to be able to recognise each other's emotional needs in order to validate them and fulfil them.
- Quranic Insight: "So give good tidings to My servants who listen to speech and follow the best of it. Those are the ones Allah has guided, and those are people of understanding." (Quran 39:18)
Foster effective communication by understanding each other's expectations, needs, and boundaries. Effective communication is not merely a skill but a virtue that fosters understanding, compassion, and unity between spouses. The Quran emphasises the importance of mutual consultation and kindness in marital relationships, encouraging open and honest communication. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) exemplified exemplary communication with his wives, underscoring the significance of patience and active listening. Islam teaches that expressing one's thoughts and feelings with respect contributes to the strength and stability of a marriage. By communicating openly, couples can navigate challenges, share joys, and work together in the spirit of cooperation. The Quranic principle of "waashiruhunna bil ma'roof" (live with them in kindness) underscores the Islamic approach to communication, urging spouses to treat each other with kindness, empathy, and consideration, thereby creating a harmonious and loving marital environment.
Understanding Rights and Expectations:
- Quranic Insight: "And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good." (Quran 4:19)
Attend marriage courses to understand and fulfil the rights each spouse has over the other. This includes the rights of husbands, wives and children over parents. Islam outlines a framework of rights and responsibilities for individuals within a family, recognising the sanctity of each role. Husbands are entrusted with the responsibility of providing financial support, protection, and guidance to their wives and children. In return, wives are entitled to financial maintenance and kind treatment. Islam emphasises mutual respect and cooperation, encouraging spouses to consult and decide on family matters collectively. Children, as a blessing from Allah, have rights over their parents, including the provision of a nurturing and loving environment, proper education, and guidance in matters of faith and ethics. Parents, in turn, have the duty to instill moral values, provide for the material needs of their children, and ensure their overall well-being.
Patience and Forgiveness:
- Quranic Insight: "And be patient. Surely, Allah is with those who are patient." (Quran 8:46)
Exercise virtues of patience and forgiveness to navigate the inevitable challenges in marriage. Patience serves as a cornerstone, allowing spouses to navigate the challenges and fluctuations inherent in any marital journey. The Quran extols the virtues of patience in times of difficulty and encourages believers to persevere with fortitude. In a marital context, patience becomes a source of strength, enabling partners to understand each other better and weather the storms together. Equally significant is the virtue of forgiveness, an act highly cherished in Islam. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) exemplified forgiveness in his own marriage, emphasising the importance of pardoning shortcomings. By practicing forgiveness, spouses release the burden of grudges and resentments, fostering an atmosphere of compassion and understanding. Together, patience and forgiveness create a resilient bond, allowing couples to grow individually and as a unit, ensuring the longevity and tranquility of their marital journey.
- Quranic Insight: "And those who say, 'Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (Quran 25:74)
Maintain faith and taqwa (fear of Allah) as the foundation of your marriage. Couples with Taqwa are conscious of their responsibilities towards each other, recognizing that their actions within the marriage are accountable to Allah. This consciousness serves as a guiding force, encouraging spouses to treat each other with compassion, sincerity, and integrity. By cultivating Taqwa, a couple not only strengthens their bond but also contributes to the spiritual growth of each individual, creating a harmonious and God-centered marriage. The Quran emphasises that the best among believers are those who possess Taqwa, and when applied to marriage, it becomes a foundation for a union that is not only fulfilling in this world but also in the sight of Allah.
Raising Children with Islamic Values:
- Quranic Insight: "O my Lord, make me an establisher of prayer, and [raise] from my descendants. Our Lord, and accept my supplication." (Quran 14:40)
Instill Islamic values in your children by being on the same page about parenting strategies. Sometimes I come across couples in my parenting workshops where they have completely different views on parenting strategies. It's worth thinking about how you want to bring up your children, ideally, before you have children so you are on the same page! Even if you have differences in opinion its important to have discussions, be aware of the implications of different parenting approaches because this will have a significant impact on your
Seeking Support in Difficulties:
- Quranic Insight: "And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people." (Quran 4:35)
In Islam, seeking support from various sources when facing marital challenges is not only encouraged but also considered a wise and virtuous approach. Muslims are advised to turn to their families, friends, imams, or qualified counsellors when navigating difficulties in their marriages, including serious issues. The Quran emphasises the importance of consultation (Shura) and seeking advice in decision-making processes. In the context of marital issues, this guidance is particularly relevant. Families can offer a support system, providing guidance and comfort to couples undergoing difficulties. Friends, when chosen wisely, can provide valuable perspectives and emotional support. Imams, as spiritual leaders, offer counselling rooted in Islamic principles, while professional counsellors bring expertise in relational dynamics. Seeking assistance from these sources underscores the recognition of the holistic nature of human relationships and the acknowledgment that guidance from various perspectives can contribute to the resolution of marital challenges. It aligns with the prophetic tradition of seeking counsel and highlights the importance of humility and openness in addressing issues within the context of a marriage.In conclusion, these tips, rooted in Quranic wisdom, provide a roadmap for couples to build a strong and purposeful marriage. By integrating these principles into their lives, couples can navigate the complexities of married life with resilience, love, and a steadfast commitment to the teachings of Islam. May these insights guide every couple towards a flourishing and fulfilling marital journey.If you found this blog useful, why not share with family and friends?